The Monarchs in Mystic

I was so excited to attend a talk by "celebs" in the raw food world, Matt Monarch and Angela Stokes Monarch.  Both have followed individual paths into raw foodism that ultimately crossed and culminated in their recent marriage.  Matt Monarch has been nourished by a raw vegan diet for 11 years and travels to share his experience with this diet. His business is Raw Food World, a website containing all your raw food culinary needs. Sometimes, he has some good sales going and it is worth being on his mailing list for the coupon codes.  His new bride Angela Stokes has a very well publicized story of her impressive weight loss (160 in 2 years) and physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual transformation.  She gained her following in the blogosphere and has since published several pamphlet style books and at least two real ones. They both create a show on Youtube about healthy raw living. 

The evening was coordinated by our local raw foodie community organizer, Gina. The evening began with a scrumptious dinner of pate stuffed tomato, kale salad, and onion bread.  The ladies of Citrus Juice Bar and Cafe in Mystic did a lovely job pulling it all together.  The small space was filled, about 30 people were there.  The Monarchs arrived, we all sat and watched them unload their merchandise and chatted until it was time for the talk to start.  I sat next to Gina's dad and raw food author, Frank Ferendo, with whom I have developed a friendly relationship via our blogs and on Facebook.  He is the author of the book Reasonably Raw, which is available through amazon.com.  I have browsed this book and would recommend it to anyone who is curious about the lifestyles and the reasoning behind it.

Frank's most recent blog post on the Monarch's visit was very amusing and offered a glimpse of his experience having these raw celebs stay in his house.  However, I am compelled to comment on some of his observations and offer a bit of a different take on the evening.  Please stop here and read Frank's post on this because he sums up the content which I am not going to repeat here in full.  

Back to our Sunday evening talk...

I have not read Matt Monarch's book. My impression of him prior to meeting him was that he was a simple guy, maybe a surfer,  from CA who happened into this lifestyle and shares what he has learned along the way.  I've never been blown away by his information, but I like his website for ordering products.  Hearing him talk, pretty much left me with the same impression, except dial it up to full-on CA frat-boy surfer dude. That's not a bad thing at all, but for me it did not serve the spiritual message he was trying to impart. I respect that he makes absolutely no claim of being an expert on anything except his own personal experience. He does share some gems if you can hang in there and listen for the inspirational nuggets between product placement and high colonics.    Personally I would like to see him tune into the audience a bit more.  A room full of newer raw foodies and the rawcurious, might benefit from hearing colonics exist once or twice, but it is a big leap for someone coming off a standard cooked food to want to go get their insides professionally Roto-Rootered once a month.  I've been in this lifestyle for 2 years and I personally am not interested in hearing a 30 minute focused sermon on the importance of colonics, let alone locating, traveling to, and shelling out for such a service.  I see the potential benefit in removing the decades of mucoid waste we've accumulated and how that might help some people but the whole time we heard about Matt's intestinal sludge I was empathizing with those people in the room who might have been hearing about this for the first time.

Another main focus of Matt's talk was the progression of a cleaner and cleaner diet to the point of ultimately becoming a breatharian, someone who lives on only air, sunshine and universal energy.  This isn't the very first time I have heard Breatharianism but I have yet to come up with an ACTUAL Breatharian to read about in cyberspace.  They are a bit like the Loch Ness Monster; existing primarily in theory and imagination. I am certainly not closed off to possibility, but at this time it is not on my bucket list to become one. The human being is an amazing creature and I can imagine a being so evolved and tuned into G*d and Universal Energy enabling them to subsist on simply fresh air and sunshine. It is a beautiful, but esoteric, concept. I envision this would be a state achieved by someone on a deeply spiritual life path, perhaps a Buddhist monk.   I think most of us can agree no matter our religious tradition that people like Jesus Christ, Buddha, Ghandi, and presently the Dali Lama or Thich, Nhat Hanh are rather highly evolved spiritual teachers. We study their lives, their teachings and emulate them.  These are some of the most highly regarded spiritual leaders of our past and present and as far as I know none of them aspired to be a Breatharian, so for me this is more a hypothetical state of nirvana than a tangible, useful concept. 

Matt did talk about his products and while I am not offended by the idea that the Monarchs did a talk and sold products from said talk, I was sort of turned off by his self stated "extremism" and pushing of certain products and superfoods. Extremism, in and of itself, is unhealthy. If you self-identify as an extremist, then to me that says, "I am unhealthy. I am not balanced. I do not feel good about my choices."  This is different than someone PERCEIVING what you do as extreme as I am sure many people think what I do is extreme.  And that is a subtle but key difference. Being in spiritual alignment with your choices are a key to healthy living, someone else's judgements of what you do are of no consequence. That's their stuff. But to say "I am an extremist"  invalidates the message.  He illustrated how extreme he is by repeating it several times.

 I understand the Superfood concept, thanks in great part to Gina and lots of reading.  There  is a place for some Superfoods if you gain benefit from them.  I am not averse to trying something here and there and seeing if its worth incorporating into my diet. However, I have noticed that within the Superfood movement there are members whose energy is that of a drug addict.  The desire to take something in powdered or pill form in high quantities or just a lot of different ones seems excessive sometimes and it is that energy that turns me off.   I'm all for filling in an obvious nutritional gap or solving a health challenge or imbalance nutritionally, but popping and pushing pills, powders and tinctures is a real turn off.   The raw food movement would serve society by helping people discover the tremendous benefits of raw food in and of itself.   Recipes, tastings, success stories, acceptance, open-ness, and love, that is what inspires people to make healthy choices for themselves.  

The Monarchs brought the contents of their warehouse with them for sale. I admire that they are living freely, traveling, and funding that travel with these personal appearances and product sales.  Anyone who makes a living doing what they love and believe in, serves the greater good.  It was a LOT of stuff for a small space.  They sold a lot of it too.  They have a good thing going. Very smart. Free from the rat race, I can totally get on board with that. 

After Matt's talk, came a short break for shopping and chatting  I asked Matt a few questions about a product he was selling.  I will admit that this was more to see if he was as  "connected" he as he claimed.  I had a strong sense of disconnection from him even though his words were all about being spiritually evolved.   His words conflicted with his being.  He didn't look like the glowing, centered person that I had thought he would.  Maybe it was shyness, maybe he was distracted because their vehicle was towed, but if there was any word I would use to describe Matt it would be DISconnected.   This was disappointing.  He had spoken for a while about his very recent recovery from an intense case of canine scabies he contracted when he rescued some puppies from Mexico.  Instead of pharmaceuticals he chose to use some of his superfood products and supplements in high doses. This coupled with the description of his ongoing bowel cleansing leads me to believe he is currently undergoing an intense detox and healing crisis. Suffice it to say, maybe he just wasn't himself.  We all have off days, nights....weeks sometimes.   

And then came a breath of fresh air.  Every woman is a Goddess, but the woman in raw food worthy of the title Raw Food Goddess, is Mrs. Monarch, Angela Stokes.    Open, sweet, witty, lovely, a ray of sunshiney "good" vibes, Angela delivered in 10-fold.  Her personality really came through during her brief talk on her journey since becoming raw and the unfolding of her life.  She was a charismatic speaker and very funny.  I think the whole room was captivated by her.  It is pretty obvious when someone eminates light and love.  People are drawn to these beacons in our life and Angela delivers this in her talk.  She spoke about her state of being at 300 lbs and how she transformed physically, mentally, and emotionally.  She spoke from the heart. She didn't spend much time on any particular product, just a few common sense ideas.  For example, how easy it is to sprout seeds and how this old school raw food technique needs a revival.  She spoke a bit about her new book Raw Emotions, and I think she sold out her stock of them while she was speaking. People were jumping up to grab their copy off the shelf, myself included.  She was a real person and a beautiful example of what can be achieved with a clean diet.  I went to this event really needing some inspiration, my raw food intake has waned over the last 8 months and I have the excess weight and mood swings to show for it.  I really needed some inspiration and she delivered.  Her book, Raw Emotions, is about how to deal with food addictions and the mental, emotional, and spiritual journey that accompanies a change in diet and lifestyle.  While it focuses on raw food,  I can see this book helping almost anyone whether Weight Watchers, South Beach or any number of other lifestyles resonates and works for you. None of them will work long term unless we heal internally as well.  Raw Emotions addresses the unfolding of self during a health transformation.

Frank states in his post that he doesn't think eating better makes you more spiritual and this a main point I disagree with.  I completely accept that may not be how it works for some people, I am one of the ones that it did for this way.  As I have stated in many past blogs, dis-ease comes from within (spiritual) to without (physical) with shifts in the emotional/mental realms along the way. While the SHIFT must take place spiritually, in that, one must awaken and consciously take the reigns of their health, the healing happens in the reverse order of the disease.  Physical to Spiritual.  When the physical body begins to heal, it exposes what's gone off in the mental, emotional, and ultimately spiritual realm.  Those things must be healed too or the old patterns will come back whether with food or another type of addiction.  Angela's thoughts in Raw Emotions address exactly this topic. I have only just started it, but I hope to write more about this book once I finish reading.

I am sure every member of the audience that night took something different away from the speakers and each other.  I am sure different aspects of the talk resonated for different people. Some people in the audience seemed to be really connecting with the idea of colonics and asked about seeking one out locally. It was of service to some. This experience re-affirmed for me that we receive exactly the experience we need to learn a lesson and grow.  It also served as the catalyst I needed to re-examine my own recent choices.   Every interaction is significant because we've called it to us vibrationally; it already exists within us in order to manifest in our experience.   I find my work right now to try to be present for those moments so that I can grow from them and attempt to handle uncomfortable ones gracefully. It is hard work, that I find so much easier when I maintain a diet high in raw foods. I've noticed that most of my blog posts are written when I am maintaining close to 100% raw.  In this space I feel most creative and clear.  The times the blog is quiet is usually because I am not making the healthiest choices and am feeling too blocked and uninspired to have anything to share. 

I honor the people who share their personal journey openly as it helps me illuminate my own path. It gives me new ideas. It stretches my mind about what is possible. I take some. I leave some. I learn from all.  So thank you Matt, Angela, Gina, Frank, and all the other blog, book and message board authors and speakers who so openly share what you do to ultimately inspire people to find their own truth and lead fulfilling lives. That's the goal really, isn't it?

I found it! I found it!

My higher purpose, that is.  

I kept thinking it was something other than what I am currently doing.  I thought maybe it was that I should be a chef. Or the owner of a juice bar and cafe, serving foods that nourish the body and the soul.  Or was it that I should be more seriously pursuing a living as a doula, supporting mothers as they transition into a new role with the new little spirit who chose them as a guide.  Or maybe I missed my higher purpose when I didn't go to Berklee College of Music. I stop just short of calling it a 'regret' but it is by far the biggest "what if" of my life.  Or maybe its growing spiritually by studying homeopathy.  Or maybe it is that I should be practicing homeopathy and helping others.  So much time pondering, wondering and being open to what it is I am supposed to be doing that serves myself and others in some divine way. Waiting for the light to shine and show me the way to my path of service. So much time has been spent trying this and that and then feeling like I wasn't doing enough, like I should be doing more or something different.

And then yesterday, I found it.  In one not-so-extravagant moment, it occurred to me.  I am already doing it.   I am blessed to be able to stay home and guide my child and help him grow. I am lucky enough to be here to create a home we can all enjoy, which sounds esoteric but is in reality laundry, meal preparation, errands and other various and sundry household activities.  I am the reason my husband can go out into the world and earn a living as much as he is the reason I am able to stay home and nurture our child.  I can't believe I wasted so much time, energy and money trying to find something that was right under my nose.  I am a mother. I am a wife. I am a thousand different things everyday.  And when I am not distracted by trying to find "what I am supposed to be doing,"  I love doing it too. 

So today I let go of things that pull me from this center. As time moves forward, and my family grows, and I evolve,  I expect that my high purpose will evolve too.   But for now, THIS is what I am doing.  It's a welcome relief to stop looking outside for something that is already here. Everything I need, I already have.

Meditation Bubbles

A resolution of sorts, this year I am going to try to incorporate regular meditation into my daily routine. Finding the time is a challenge. I know I know, what's 10 minutes? Hell, what's 1 minute?  According to Oprah, if you can't find 60 seconds a day to meditate you just aren't on a spiritual path. To me, that sounded like a challenge and I accept. 

For the last few months my daily moment to myself has been taking an extra few minutes in the shower after the bathing portion is complete. I would sit and just take in the experience of being warmed by the water. It is my few moments of solitude and I enjoy it, but it didn't feel, well meditative.  

And once my day is going, I hardly find the inclination to sit still and meditate so really the only logical time for me is first thing when I wake up or last thing before I fall asleep and that's usually what happens...I fall asleep. I do find meditation helpful for that.

So this morning after Evan had showered and left the room, I lay in bed and meditated. I have the same trouble as anyone else new to meditation. My mind wanders off on all the things I should be thinking about and then I have to pull myself back.  I've had people say focus on your breath, count, pretend the thoughts are passing clouds and let them float on by but none of that clicked for me. This morning I came up with something that finally helped me manage the pesky mental chatter keeping me from the state of zen, so here is what I did.

I lay in bed and decided I was going to meditate for 60 breaths.  Breathing in and out I counted each one in my head. I imagined the number inside a bubble...like the bubbles you blow with the little plastic sticks.  On the inhale the bubble with a number 1 inside floated up and on the exhale it floated down and out. Then 2.... and so on.  This worked for me because my next goal was just "see" the number in the bubble with my mind's eye but not "say" it in my mind.   Everytime another thought appeared, and in my multitasking brain it was just in another bubble floating near my number bubble,  I simply popped it.  GONE.  It was the one form of imagery that finally worked for me.  I have heard that after some practice the need to count is no longer necessary to keep a quiet mind but for now I think its just what I need to center myself and do some meditation everyday.

Proud to be an American

For the first time ever, I am proud to be an American. For the last 8 years its been an embarrassment, and prior to that I was sort of neutral and not really concerned with matters of global importance.

But last night was a historic event that has given me a renewed hope and uplifted my faith in humanity.  We, the American people, as well as the world deserves a thoughtful, intelligent leader with integrity. Something that has been sorely lacking for far too long. I am hopeful that our new President will be able to repair the damaged international relationships and steer this massive ship in the direction of peace and prosperity in a way that serves the greater good of all.   This historic election represents an evolutionary step, a shift in the American conscience. 

The new residents of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave embody my vision of what it is to be an American family  with strong values, a loving committed relationship, genuine partnership, and a sense of fun. I couldn't imagine a better role model for a healthy marriage.  Has anyone ever seen the current leader acknowledge his wife and life partner, much less show openly his devotion and affection?   I hope our new First Lady makes it her mission to help this country value family. We fail miserably in this area compared to other nations and our children and future deserve better.  I commend Michelle Obama for her unapologetic statement that being a mom is her most important role.  The importance of the feminine role has been blurred and devalued and I think she will help correct that. She's been brilliant so far and her influence is only just beginning.

I can't help but feel moved at the celebration this is for the African American community. This is certainly something that touches their community in a special way.  A dream has been realized. I am proud to be a part of the generation responsible for finally blurring the division of color.  It's a victory for all Americans to have made this leap forward.  

Barack Obama has demonstrated that anyone can be anything they want to be if they operate from the place that allows G*d to work through them.  His success is inextricably connected to Source Energy and his decisions are made with this Higher Good working through him. It is apparent in the most admirable campaign this country has every seen, his interactions with is family, and his demeanor and message.  He has got a long, damaged road that's been left for him to rebuild and I can't imagine a person better equipped to handle it.  While he has the fortitude to apply pressure when and, more importantly, where appropriate.  I believe, he will be instrumental in bringing a message of peace to his work as our President.  

On one of the morning news shows today I think it was Meredith Vieira who said, "He [Obama] reflects light back on all of us."   The time has come for America to be a servant to the Greater Good and a bringer of light.  Darkness cannot live in the presence of light.  Today, November 5, 2008 brings promise of being a brand new, beautiful day. 

My Crystal Child

I posted a portion of this entry on my son's webpage.

Today's conversation with Ian was so moving. We spent the morning lounging around playing and talking. I love having conversations with him. I think maybe this morning I mentioned having a little belly ache but didn't think much of it. Then later we were resting on the couch and talking and he offered me one of his grapes.



"Grape Mommy?"

No thank you Ian.

"Mommy tummy hurts?"

A little bit.

"Shut eyes" he told me.

I shut my eyes and heard him kiss his hand and then felt him pat my arm. I opened my eyes.

"Eden pat mommy. All better. Mommy happy."

Touched by his sweetness I welled up a little and said,

You are such an angel.

He put his hands together and said,

"Eden angel hands."

I agreed, "Yes Ian you have angel hands."

He corrected me,

"All people angel hands."

Ian thinks all people have his healing angel hands.

I was so touched by this. He's such a beautiful spirit. He is often quick to kiss our adult boo boos when we get them or massage our backs. He gets worried and concerned when he sees other children crying and I explain they feel sad or have a boo boo. He usually runs to hug and kiss them. Unfortunately, other children don't often welcome Ian's affection because they want their own mama. I am trying to teach him other ways to effectively focus his great empathy and caring in these situations but love that his first desire is to help them by enveloping them in his own energy. He's a special little man.

I believe Ian is one of those special Crystal Children, coming to this place in the wake of the Indigo Children (I think I am one of these). I love those quiet moments we share when his light is shining so brightly. He's wonderous and I am lucky to have him here to teach me so much.


Excerpt from website link inserted in text: The Crystal Children will be more consciously aware of their direct contact to the divine. They will provide insight into our innate potential abilities and operate from a viewpoint of group consciousness. As they grow, the idea of ‘competition’ will seem strange. They will bring much love and unity to the people of Earth and radiate this in their beingness for others to see. The Crystal Children, who are born in the new millennium, will be attentive of their mission to bring a higher consciousness to the world. By the time they are young adults they will be at the forefront of shaping the new earth with their teachings and healing abilities; having benefited from the authority on Earth of the Indigos before them.

Foster Dog Diaries - Day 5

Daisy continues to impress us with her sweet and gentle nature, however she did show us the 'dog aggression' reported to us by her previous owners.  Any of our other dogs going near her crate or at a gate elicits a very demonstrative display of teeth from Daisy.  I suspect that she is truly a lover and not a fighter, that she may be in conflict with forces in her previous life that told her she was the Goddess of War. Where she clearly was the sponge  that absorbed the negativity that generally exists prior to a divorce. Being tremendously affectionate and devoted to Ian and I and showing separation anxiety when we leave the room, I think she would really enjoy canine companions if she could only get past her animosity towards them.

For a start with her transition, I approached my homeopath about doing some pro bono work for CDRN. She agreed and today she took Daisy's case and very quickly we identified the remedy to start her on. She received her first dose today. I am hoping this helps ease her transition here so she can release some of these unhealthy behavior patterns.

After some more screaming and howling when left alone, I decided she needed to meet the dogs.  First I brought her down to the pens and let her meet them through the fence. There was a lot of barking and growling, but I did manage to let her know which were good approaches and which were not going to make her any friends. She so wants to please me. She gazes up with these big round brown eyes and I can see how much she hopes she can trust me as she accepts the behavior I am asking her to do (or not do.)  Next I crated all the dogs and let her out in the dog yard to sniff around and also to leave her own scent.  Finally, I let Isaac out.

A word about Isaac. I don't think before today have I every really appreciated his gifts. He is the canine equivalent of a really good counselor.  Throughout his 10 years he has been so purely content with his own place as a happy dog that he has no emotional baggage ready to do battle with the emotional troubles of any dog I introduce him to. Being a retired alpha of our often large pack, he is no stranger to expecting and commanding respect when needed, yet he was always a benevolent leader. He's always been the one to teach puppies the ways of the world, giving each lesson at just the right time in a gentle way the puppies understand.  He's always been the only dog I could put with ANY transient or troubled dog...even the most aggressive are not inspired to engage with Isaac. He puts them at ease, by allowing them to be. He creates the safe space for them to have their troubles in his presence and accepts them.  Imagine the world if more people could do this.  Reserve judgement and practice the art of non-reaction and acceptance.  Isaac, the laughing one, you're a good dog.

Back to the story, Isaac came out and immediately went to greet Daisy. Instinctually he froze for inspection, usually the job of the new or lower ranking dog, however Isaac sensed that he needed to tell Daisy he was not a threat.  Daisy sniffed then scurried away.  He accepts her need to be the way she is and does not engage in an unhealthy way.  So, he gave her space and played fetch with me .  I stayed out for a few more minutes and noticed that Daisy would try to hide behind me and then if Isaac came close she would shove her head between my calves and snarl ferociously.  Right then I refused to let her use me as her shield or reason. Without me near, she was not nearly so demonstrative.  Once I was confident that there would be no bloodshed, I decided it would be best if I left the yard and watched from afar.

Ian and I played outside and I watched the dynamic unfold.  If Ian went to close to the fence, then Daisy felt it more necessary to defend her little space bubble. The further away we were the less of a show she put on and the closer she would allow Isaac to get to her.  Watching Isaac carefully ignore her, it allowed her the space and time to approach him.  Isaac brilliantly allowed her to come close and then he moved away. He was allowing her to come close so he could demonstrate that he was not a threat to her by moving away from her.  He wasn't moving away out of fear, he would just casually turn his back to her. Once he even laid down showing her that she could approach him and he was calm and cool. In a way telling her that she could relax too.  In on adorable moment she offered a single playful bounce towards him, but he didn't see it. 

It's really sad that she doesn't know how to be a social dog but I see the desire in her.  A willingness to find her way to a place where she knows how to socialize with other dogs. A place that won't be so lonely for her.  So she doesn't need to whimper in isolation. Where she no longer plays the role and carries the burden of the Goddess of War. Where she can be a delicate flower to cherish. 

Finding Bliss on a Motorcycle

Today was a lovely day; sunny and warm. Ian and I went to yard sales first thing this morning so Evan could sleep in. When we returned, Evan's mom picked Ian up to go to an art show and out to lunch, so there we were with a whole day to ourselves.  I don't know if it was the weather or the opportunity of having a day without Ian, but I really wanted to take a ride on the motorcycle.  

At about 2 pm, we were ready to go and in a departure from things organic, vegan and health conscience, I suggested that the ride be to go get ice cream at Buttonwood Farm in CT.  For all of you Rhode Islanders, this is CTs answer to Brickley's in RI with the added bonus of ambience. In late summer the whole place is surrounded by massive sunflower fields. It's really impressive. The ice cream is almost as good too. 

Off we went. Evan donned his red handkerchief on his head, a look I find very sexy, and I climbed on the bike for the first time since the Summer of 2005 when I was pregnant with Ian.  The ride to Griswold, CT from here is a beautiful one on tree lined roads. The sun was warm, the breeze was refreshing.  Riding there, so close to Evan and free from parental responsibilities I remembered what it felt like when I was falling in love with him.  At the same time I was envisioning our future together as well as being present at that moment.  I felt our eternity in every direction, our past, our future, and the depth of that wondrous present moment. It was indescribably perfect.

My life is rich. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband who I find unbelievably attractive and enjoy spending time with.  We have an intelligent and loving son, a beautiful home and a joyful life together.  Its funny how a simple Saturday afternoon ride on a motorcycle can all of a sudden be one of those moments. Those moments where everything in my life is in perfect alignment and the feeling of deep inner peace. Of joy. Of immeasurable bliss. 

 I love you Evan.   

And you can't sell the bike. 

Miraculous Messages From Water

I am particularly fascinated with Quantum Physics (Quantum Mechanics) as it is one in the same as spirituality. Or, you could say, it is the science of spirituality. Last night re-watched "What The Bleep Do We Know!?". The first time I tried to watch this 2 years ago, I lost interest shortly into it. I wasn't ready. I didn't understand. This time, I made it through the whole movie. Now, I wouldn't say it is a fantastic must-see, but it had some interesting parts. I prefer books on Quantum theory better than this movie. However, there was small reference to something very interesting. A brief scene that pointed to the research of Dr. Masuru Emoto.

Check this this site on the Miraculous Messages from Water. Dr. Emoto took pictures of frozen water. Big deal, right? Well he also took bottles of water and taped words (thoughts) to them and left them overnight, then photographed them to illustrate how thoughts (vibrational energy) can influence the molecular structure of this basic molecule vital to our existence; water. Since our bodies are 60-70% water, mirroring perfectly the 60-70% water that makes up our planet, how much do the vibrational thoughts we offer as an individual and as the collective humanity effect our experience? I mean, if a single person's thought projected onto a bottle of spring water can make beautiful organized molecules and disorganized ones, depending on the thought, think of how we can effect our own experience, such as our own health and happiness. Cool stuff.

Our thoughts precede the manifestation of physical experiences in our lives.

Choose wisely. Choose consciously.

Please feel free to leave comments!

Photo: What water looks like when offered thoughts of love and appreciation.

Trees and Vines

I've been busy clearing the underbrush that is dead, scraggly, and otherwise impeding my view. Never being one who particularly enjoyed outdoor labor, I have recently discovered the joy of snapping dead branches, gathering rotted logs, and wrestling the persistent, suffocating vines that want to drag an otherwise healthy tree down.

I am fascinated by how strong those vines are, how they shoot down roots at every opportunity, and shoot up tentacles to climb the healthy trees, using them like a step ladder to reach higher than they could on their own. All in an effort to get to the highest point possible to receive the energizing rays of the sun but without a sturdy trunk to get there themselves. The vines remind me of someone drowning; grasping and clinging to whomever comes close and pushing them under so that they can reach the surface to breathe, while their savior is sacrificed.

The vines are covered in prickly thorns too. When I engage in a rousing tug of war with one, often I am injured by the thorns. Clearly they are there for that very purpose but they don't stop me. Nothing feels as good as winning that battle as a massive ball of prickly vines releases it's hold on the tree and comes tumbling down. It makes the scars worth it.

Gently, I help the tree stand up tall again.

Some are too weakened by the assault of the vine and the final fight to be free. I feel sad for them. 20 foot tall trees with their tops touching the ground in weakness. I prop them up against a nearby tree, give them an encouraging word or two and hope for the best. I've only given them a short reprieve. If they don't develop their own sturdy base to anchor themselves, then the vines will come back and overcome them.

Some are unaffected. The older trees with great round trunks and vast root systems shake off their vines easily. The vines are nearly dead and just barely hanging on. The give up easily and come down with minimal effort on my part. They really didn't need my help at all.

But some other young trees rebound taller and stronger than they were moments before. Skinny trunks right themselves while their leaves flutter happily in the spring breeze. Because of my work today, that many more trees are free to stand tall and can reach towards the sun's energy. They will grow stronger and next time the vines come creeping they won't get weighed down by them.

It's gratifying to know that my toil is clearing the view for all of us.

Photo: Arborvitae ("Tree of Life")

Dum ditty dum ditty dum dum dum....

"I wrote myself a part and went straight to the top. I recommend that to anyone." Ricky Gervais (British Comedian)

Recently I have had a friendship come into my life with someone I've known for a long time. I'll call him Chief. Chief is an enthusiastic person who realized at a much younger age than most of us, what it is he wanted to do when he grew up. He on some level always knew he would be Chief. He didn't get their instantly, but by simply doing what he loved and doing what felt good he has now found himself in a place of incredible energy flowing towards him and with him.

When the time was perfect, and timing is always perfect, Chief began to beat his own rhythm. As he is finding, people with a similar rhythm start to gather around him and join in creating the most awe inspiring flow of energy in the same direction. Now, Chief may not consciously realize he is doing this but for me, its so much fun to watch. Chief is going to find that as long as he follows his bliss, what he loves, and keeps beating the drum to his own rhythm, people whose drums beat a similar rhythm will flock to him. The people attracted to the light that is streaming through him will all fall in line, opportunities will present themselves, and life experience will continue to be an endless stream of joy and success. At the same time, people in his life whose rhythms are not in time with his own will be repelled by the discord and will fall away - some will be repelled quietly and some will protest but fall away they will. It is uncomfortable to live with the noise, with light shining in their darkness. That is okay. They need to find their own rhythm in their own time.

Some people are stuck in the land of missed opportunity and do not realize it. They live their present moment regretting the decision they made in the previous one. This is a vicious cycle because they forever miss the present opportunity because of excessive focus on past or future. Light comes into the present moment, doing what you love channels this energy and creates more of it. More people, more energy, more opportunity, more joy and with it more material success. The most fortunate thing about this path is that the material success is secondary to the joy of doing and being. People who chase the material success without the bliss of doing will tire themselves out chasing. Maybe that's where the term "rat race" came from because they spin their wheels with the throngs of others perplexed at how a seemingly few got ahead and out of the race.

Writing this, I just thought of one of the books I read to my son frequently and it just took on a whole new meaning in this moment. An "ah ha!" moment. I love it when that happens! The story starts with one monkey happily drumming a drum and by the end of the book millions have joined into the rhythm. Along the way, there is material success with "rings on fingers" and "hand picks an apple." Monkeys with compatible instruments join in the rhythm with banjos and fiddles. But in the end the leading monkey is still blissfully beating his drum because that is where his joy of being resides.

"One hand two hands drumming on a drum

Dum ditty dum ditty dum dum dum"

... progressing to

"Hand in Hand More Monkeys Come"

...culminating with

"Millions of Fingers and Millions of Thumbs, Millions of Monkeys drumming on drums."

Dum Ditty Dum Ditty Dum Dum Dum

Chief, I am so proud of what you are doing and I am so grateful that your light reaches all the way to Rhode Island.

Five People

I read somewhere a while ago that we are most like or become like the five people with whom we spend the most time. That's really profound, if you think about it. It makes me stop and think about how and with whom I choose to associate and to what level. I value depth, creative ideas, and people who are genuine. Some people are as deep as a puddle, totally content with the status quo, or offer fake politeness but would happily turn and mock you when you turn your back. Of the latter type, I can forgive them. I don't choose to spend time with them but I understand that they are only displaying in full view to the world their own insecurity with themselves. I am bored by the status quo keepers and oceans inspire me, not puddles.

I value my husband for his openness, loyalty, integrity, and most of all his stark contrast to myself. He has two feet planted firmly in the ground of logic and reason. If it weren't for that tether to common sense, I could easily float away with my own philosophical musings. I value that the tether is more like a bungee cord so that I never feel confined, judged, or oppressed, simply reminded that not everyone can follow my thought process.

I have a best female friend that I value for unbelievable listening skills, gift of validation, and unequalled level of compassion for others. She inspires me to become more thoughtful, careful, a better listener, and to try to leave the world a better place in whatever way I feel is right.

I have recently made a new friend, or as the BFF would say, I chose her. I was attracted to the beautiful spirit of the new friend based on very little information. But as I am getting to know her, she is proving in every way that my first impression was correct. She is effusively positive, has an uncanny way of always looking at the bright side and expecting the best. She is the perfect living example of the Law of Attraction, and I think, without having ever heard of it. I admire her patience, joyful nature, and value her positive outlook on life.

And of course, I value my son. Children are so pure and connected to their source that they are great mirrors for those around them, as they so often mirror the emotion of the people they are closest too. My son, in his own right, is empathetic, affectionate, and joyful. His love and purity of spirit enriches my life in numerous ways. His very existence inspires me to be a better person.

My mother, while we don't spend a lot of time in close physical proximity inspires me with her ability to not judge. She understands the value in listening and the fine but important line between hearing and fixing. She has allowed me to make my own decisions and learn from my own mistakes. Because she allows independence, I feel more accomplished. There is value to letting your children fail and succeed on their own because it fosters growth and builds self esteem. I hope I can strike the delicate balance between being a hands-off, yet supportive parent of an adult child that she seems to do so naturally.

It feels good to spend time on positive relationships and, by Law of Attraction, more will come if I follow the bliss. Simultaneously, and without any conscious effort, unhealthy relationships will slip away making room for more inspiring people. There are many other positive influences in my world, but I find it comforting to know that if the people I spend time with help shape who I am, then I am going to purposely choose people I admire, value, and who make me a better me by spending time with them. And, just as importantly, I hope I do the same for them.

Spiderwebs

Once upon a time there was a spider. She lay her web carefully, deliberately, and methodically. Her web is put in place for one reason; to trap a fly. She spins and she spins, getting closer and closer to her prey. Her prey is stuck, it resigns to belonging to the spider. The spider is not aware of the thousands upon thousands of other flies in the world, her sights are set solely on the one in her web. The fly tries to flee, but as the web gets tighter, its trickier to escape. The optimal time to escape was long ago, but does that mean he can't?

Energetically the fly is only trapped because he chose and continues to choose to be prey. The fly is free to choose NOT to be prey, and sooner than he thinks possible the webbing would release its hold and he would be free. The energetic vibration of the spider only sees "prey" so as soon as the fly shifts his vibration, every being in relation to the fly must shift to accommodate. The only way anyone in this world is a victim is because they are susceptible to the predator. If the susceptibility is removed, the predator must find a new victim. Of course, our poor fly believes that there is no way out of the web and as long as he holds that belief, that will be his truth. His destiny is laid down clearly, his life will be consumed by the spider.

So I say to the fly: You are the creator of who you are. You can live with purpose and passion or you can live as a victim. It's your right to choose. Are you prey? Or are you free? A flower is a much better choice for landing than a sticky web. You see that flower nearby? The very flower you can see through the tangle of web. The flower will get picked someday. There are other flowers too, and flowers are more hospitable than spiders you know. Your future is your choice and that choice never disappears, no matter how tightly wrapped in web you get. You think the more tightly wrapped in web you get the harder it is to be free? I say, NO! The only thing impeding your escape is your commitment to, or resignation to, being prey. The spider is just doing what works and is not to blame for your decision to be prey. You either are her prey or you aren't. It's your choice. What do you choose fly?

Slaying Dragons

Over the past year I have slain several dragons; undesirable behavioral patterns that were not beneficial to anyone, least of all me. It started the first time I met a gifted homeopath working in RI 2 years ago. My friend who saw her, referred to her as a Sage and I think it is an appropriate term. For 6 months I was skeptical, but the more I read and experimented, the more I realized I needed her help. Always being one for self-evaluation and change, I felt stuck. There were things about myself that I didn't like and, honestly, didn't feel represented who I truly was on the inside. However after several attempts, I was unsuccessful at changing these patterns on my own. I needed something to help me transition, shed the ugly layers of my personality that I grew over my lifetime to reveal someone more like the people I admired. I was so full of judgement, fear, and defense mechanisms. I didn't know how to be open and friendly to people. I wanted to achieve a sense of calmness, clarity, and genuine compassion for others. Of course, with these mental and emotional challenges came unpleasant physical symptoms: because all that ails us physically is directly a result of our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. This is something I have learned to be true through my experience with homeopathy.

Following 8 months of sessions and 2 carefully chosen remedies, I have experienced growth on many levels. I'm no longer in a job I resent or a body I poison with rich and addictive foods. My body is free of unwanted physical symptoms, or dis-ease. Most of the time I experience great clarity in thought, I am able to not "react" to things that are done or said to me but recognize that I am calling my experiences to me. I look for how to grow from negative circumstances instead of being a victim of them. I find it easier not to react to other people but to listen and validate. Granted, I don't do any of this as well as The Sage, but each day I gain more wisdom and clarity and find even greater peace, patience, and love for others.

This is until my husband and partner decided to attempt an adult conversation with me about some of his concerns on the domestic front. He approached me in a healthy and loving way and in a complete departure from the direction I am trying to grow, I, in a phrase, lost my mind. Instead of listening to his concerns, validating his points, and working as a team the way I promised in our wedding vows, I took everything he said as a personal attack and sulked. How's that for clarity and growth? Not exactly my proudest moment.

It made me realize that I do have more dragons to slay. I sit and think about why I get so defensive. And more specifically, why am I such a procrastinator? Why do I hate being micro-managed with "to do" lists (even if I make them myself!) yet also don't know how to accomplish things without them? Why do I so deeply in my core resist my time being structured? Of course, like any normal person, I can first blame my parents. After all, they overdid the control thing a tad during my teen years and I responded with absolute rebellion. However, I'm 32. I cannot blame my parents for my current behavior patterns and responses when I should be adult enough to decide to change them. But can I? We're talking 15-20 years of deeply instilled habits. Rebelling now isn't rebelling against some parental dictatorship over an arbitrarily early curfew, rebellion now is only hurting me and my familiy in the end. I don't know how I am going to right this glitch in my path to wellness, but I am damn sure going to somehow. I think I may need to visit The Sage again, not sure I can take on this beast by myself.

On Compassion

I get daily quotes from the authors of Ask and It is Given. A lot of them resonate for me, but this one is really good. It is this belief that helps me to be a more compassionate person and also to not let myself be affected by the undesirable actions or words of other people.

"These beings, that are acting out in those ways that you find so awful, are tormented and suffering in ways that you will not understand. Their horrible acts are extensions of that pain. We also have to say to you -- no one who is not a vibrational match to that could be their victim." - Abraham- Hicks

I try to remember that when someone does or says something that irritates me. It is a reflection of their own pain, fears, and thoughts. If I can see this quickly enough I am able to respond to them with more compassion than I ever (in years prior) thought I was capable of. I used to be so quick to judge and snap. If I do find myself having an emotional reaction, I need to recognize that that is a susceptibility in ME. It is MY pain, fears, and beliefs in conflict with whatever the other person is putting out there. When I recognize this, which is not always as quickly as I would like, I can recognize that the only reason it bothers me is because my weakness is a perfect match to their pain. If I change my energy - and by that I mean my emotions - around the given subject, my need to react goes away and conflicts are avoided. I am getting better and better at this as time goes on. Recognizing other people's "stuff" or emotional baggage as soon as possible helps me avoid conflict and, actually help them to feel better too. Because then I am not longer reacting to them as I am supporting them to help find a place of feeling better.