When I first met my spiritual teacher, she told me that what bothers us the most in someone else is really a reflection of what we don't like about ourselves. Therefore, as hard as it may be to see it in the moment when someone irritates us, they are a gift. They are an opportunity to discover something about ourself and grow. I also learned the quicker you learn the lesson, the quicker the irritation goes away and the irritating circumstance or person stops coming into my experience. The longer it takes you to learn the lesson, the louder and more frequent it gets.