Thursday, February 14, 2008

Five People

I read somewhere a while ago that we are most like or become like the five people with whom we spend the most time. That's really profound, if you think about it. It makes me stop and think about how and with whom I choose to associate and to what level. I value depth, creative ideas, and people who are genuine. Some people are as deep as a puddle, totally content with the status quo, or offer fake politeness but would happily turn and mock you when you turn your back. Of the latter type, I can forgive them. I don't choose to spend time with them but I understand that they are only displaying in full view to the world their own insecurity with themselves. I am bored by the status quo keepers and oceans inspire me, not puddles.

I value my husband for his openness, loyalty, integrity, and most of all his stark contrast to myself. He has two feet planted firmly in the ground of logic and reason. If it weren't for that tether to common sense, I could easily float away with my own philosophical musings. I value that the tether is more like a bungee cord so that I never feel confined, judged, or oppressed, simply reminded that not everyone can follow my thought process.

I have a best female friend that I value for unbelievable listening skills, gift of validation, and unequalled level of compassion for others. She inspires me to become more thoughtful, careful, a better listener, and to try to leave the world a better place in whatever way I feel is right.

I have recently made a new friend, or as the BFF would say, I chose her. I was attracted to the beautiful spirit of the new friend based on very little information. But as I am getting to know her, she is proving in every way that my first impression was correct. She is effusively positive, has an uncanny way of always looking at the bright side and expecting the best. She is the perfect living example of the Law of Attraction, and I think, without having ever heard of it. I admire her patience, joyful nature, and value her positive outlook on life.

And of course, I value my son. Children are so pure and connected to their source that they are great mirrors for those around them, as they so often mirror the emotion of the people they are closest too. My son, in his own right, is empathetic, affectionate, and joyful. His love and purity of spirit enriches my life in numerous ways. His very existence inspires me to be a better person.

My mother, while we don't spend a lot of time in close physical proximity inspires me with her ability to not judge. She understands the value in listening and the fine but important line between hearing and fixing. She has allowed me to make my own decisions and learn from my own mistakes. Because she allows independence, I feel more accomplished. There is value to letting your children fail and succeed on their own because it fosters growth and builds self esteem. I hope I can strike the delicate balance between being a hands-off, yet supportive parent of an adult child that she seems to do so naturally.

It feels good to spend time on positive relationships and, by Law of Attraction, more will come if I follow the bliss. Simultaneously, and without any conscious effort, unhealthy relationships will slip away making room for more inspiring people. There are many other positive influences in my world, but I find it comforting to know that if the people I spend time with help shape who I am, then I am going to purposely choose people I admire, value, and who make me a better me by spending time with them. And, just as importantly, I hope I do the same for them.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008


Once upon a time there was a spider. She lay her web carefully, deliberately, and methodically. Her web is put in place for one reason; to trap a fly. She spins and she spins, getting closer and closer to her prey. Her prey is stuck, it resigns to belonging to the spider. The spider is not aware of the thousands upon thousands of other flies in the world, her sights are set solely on the one in her web. The fly tries to flee, but as the web gets tighter, its trickier to escape. The optimal time to escape was long ago, but does that mean he can't?

Energetically the fly is only trapped because he chose and continues to choose to be prey. The fly is free to choose NOT to be prey, and sooner than he thinks possible the webbing would release its hold and he would be free. The energetic vibration of the spider only sees "prey" so as soon as the fly shifts his vibration, every being in relation to the fly must shift to accommodate. The only way anyone in this world is a victim is because they are susceptible to the predator. If the susceptibility is removed, the predator must find a new victim. Of course, our poor fly believes that there is no way out of the web and as long as he holds that belief, that will be his truth. His destiny is laid down clearly, his life will be consumed by the spider.

So I say to the fly: You are the creator of who you are. You can live with purpose and passion or you can live as a victim. It's your right to choose. Are you prey? Or are you free? A flower is a much better choice for landing than a sticky web. You see that flower nearby? The very flower you can see through the tangle of web. The flower will get picked someday. There are other flowers too, and flowers are more hospitable than spiders you know. Your future is your choice and that choice never disappears, no matter how tightly wrapped in web you get. You think the more tightly wrapped in web you get the harder it is to be free? I say, NO! The only thing impeding your escape is your commitment to, or resignation to, being prey. The spider is just doing what works and is not to blame for your decision to be prey. You either are her prey or you aren't. It's your choice. What do you choose fly?